end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
