is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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