i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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