My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
