The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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