I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
