Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
