hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize