I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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