the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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