He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
