Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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