thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize
