giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize