do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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