Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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