But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
and she was petting her beer can
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
