I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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