and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
