you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
