Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
