____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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