Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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