Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
