I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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