Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
