I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
