the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
