I cockslap morals
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
