i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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