My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
