She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize