Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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