It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
