two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
