So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
