I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
