there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize