R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
