hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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