I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Randomize
