What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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