WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
