she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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