Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
