Tell her she can't have a vagina
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
