You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
