Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he thought i was a dude.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm really busy with my period
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