U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
