I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize