**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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