I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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