Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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