just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
