Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
