12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
