Your face is a jimmy john
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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