Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
