just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
