I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My apartment stinks of burning failure
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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