Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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