And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
