Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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