do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
this hospital has no fireball
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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