My room smells like vodka and shame
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
