Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
