I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
