I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How does one acquire holy water?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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