i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
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