Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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