Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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