Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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