I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just want nice things and good sex
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
