Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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