Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
