Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
