so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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