eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
