Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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