I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What a dumb baby whore.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
